"When This Love Like A Hole, Swallowed My Soul, Dragging Me Down... | Small Update

“It is alive!”

It’s funny, I’ve kind of neglected writing on this blog for the last couple of weeks. I’ve just been so busy collecting my thoughts and continuing to plan my story that I almost forgot this thing even existed. I’ve suddenly felt the urge to start writing once more (I won’t go into the specific details as to why at this moment), so here I am!

I mentioned in a previous blog post that my mood affects my writing and my output, but positively and negatively. What I didn’t really dive into was how my mood can swing fairly often. I don’t often discuss it, most aren’t even aware of it, but I can go from incredibly happy to feelings of loneliness and desperation at a moment’s notice – usually when I’m at home, cooped up indoors, with only my thoughts and emotions as company.

What’s strange is that is how I like it a lot of the time. Don’t get me wrong, I love the company of friends, family, and doing all this awesome and fun things – night’s out, weekend trips away, going to gigs… but deep down, at the root of everything, I really enjoy my own company as well, maybe even more so. I don’t know whether this stems from being an only child, or certain events when I was in high school, but that is just the way it is.

I write in seclusion too – a few people have suggested joint-writing ventures in the past, but I know that none of them will likely work out because I just need to be alone when I write. I need to tap into that raw energy, my emotions and energy, and just let it all out. It’s what I’m doing right now. I have this baggage, this weight on my shoulders which is completely imaginary, and yet, I can feel it taking hold and dragging me down. So, I’m writing, trying to ease the pressure and bring me back down to Earth, keep that positive energy and vibes going, and a smile on my face. The #100HappyDays campaign is also great at helping me keep my spirits raised, and people seem to be reacting positively to that also, so it’s a win-win I guess.

This upcoming story I think in a lot of ways is going to be very… therapeutic, at least in some regards. My other two stories were a fantasy, a spectacle, but “Unsettling Differences” is firmly rooted in reality, and I’ll be drawing on several personal experiences to give it that emotional punch – some good, some not so good. However, it all stems back to writing being my release, a way for me to relax, unwind and help get out any problems or issues I may have.

A short entry this time around I’m afraid, I don’t want to drone on and on, rambling for the sake of it. I just wanted to let people know, whoever may be interested, where my head is at, and that this blog is very much still alive and well, as is the “Unsettling Differences” idea. Music is helping me get through the planning stages as well as ever, and I have to give a shout-out to X Ambassadors, who I saw in Shoreditch last night. Incredible band, who’s music truly inspires.

More news when I have any. Thanks for taking the time to read this, whoever you are – I really appreciate it.

- Will