Crossroads: Job, Girlfriend, Home & The Future

"This is it. This is your story. It all begins here."

One door closes, another door opens. I'm 24 going on 25, almost a quarter of a century on this planet, and far removed from my teenage years. With that said, as I move forward, I have three goals in mind that I want to achieve by this time next year:

- I want to find a new job, maybe. I love the place I work as well as the people I work with, but my true love and passion is writing, and it continues to nag at me every day. If I could find a job in that field, I can feel truly fulfilled and by that token, have a body of work I can be proud of.

- I want to find a girlfriend, someone to share my experiences with, not to mention my interests and hers, maybe eventually start a life together. I want somebody to spoil, a woman who I can proudly introduce to friends and family alike.

- I want to find a place to move to, a place of my own to call my own or to share with friends/flatmates and be independent and, dare I say, grown-up. A place to use as a stepping-stone down the line to bigger and better places.

Life is full of ups and downs. There are times of overwhelming joy, and times of unspeakable heartbreak. I've seen my fair share of both over the years, but have come out the other end stronger and better for all of my experiences. Despite what my favourite film Fight Club professes, I don't believe life is all about self-destruction, but rather, self-improvement.

Take When Justice Comes Calling, for example; a story I started back on 30th May 2013 (over two years ago, how time flies!). Over the past two years I've changed a lot as a person. Beliefs, opinions, attitude, all of it has advanced and changed me as a person, and it was reflected in my writing. My skills as a writer have grown too through research, reading and just knuckling down and seeing what works and what doesn't. When I started the piece, I wanted to tell a story full of bloodthirsty revenge and the bad guys getting their comeuppance, and whilst it still retains this thread throughout, I'm no longer in that place mentally either, nor am I skilled enough to tap into that raw emotion (at least not yet). The story now is one of redemption, as well as revenge, with a real sense of finality. Closing the book, as it were, on the world and characters I've crafted.

As I look to wrap up the final draft in the coming weeks, I can't help but feel accomplished, but also slightly unnerved. I've spent the better part of two-plus years with the focus on these characters and the story I wanted to tell that I find myself in limbo going forward. With this story reaching it's conclusion, where do I go from here? What story do I want to tell next, if any? How do I go about planning my next piece of work, and in what medium?

I recently saw family in Wales for my cousin's wedding which was a wonderful occasion, but it did in some ways make me look inwards. I used to visit family in Wales sometimes 3 to 4 times a year - school holidays allowed for this, a luxury I'm no longer afforded. These days I have a full-time job (finally permanent after five years!), as well as a fairly busy social life, not to mention the downtime that I like to have on occasion. I'm lucky if I get to visit Wales more than once a year these days, which is a damn shame, but it's how the chips have fallen in recent years.

It made me stop and think, and most importantly, appreciate the time that I have right now, and look towards the future. I've reached a crossroad as it were, just like I did when I was 18 and unsure what I wanted to do with the rest of my life after 6th Form. Granted, this isn't nearly as drastic, but it's still a daunting prospect. The future is unwritten, something that has always deep down troubled me - the fear of the unknown, and making the most of every opportunity I'm afforded. More often than not however, opportunities aren't handed out, they are created by those who wish to better themselves, and I want to be one of those people.

This outlook is part of a new journey that I want to take. I've spread my wings in regards to my hobby of writing, now I want to expand. I want to start the next chapter of my life, with the three goals listed at the start of this blog entry in mind. The world is my oyster, and opportunities are what I make of them. As my favourite video-game character says, this is my story.

Who wants to help me write it?